My girlfriend refuses to let me watch her masturbate. Can you help me talk her into it?
I can think of a few reasons why your girlfriend doesn’t want you to watch her jill-off sessions. There might not be much to see. The imperceptible movement of her fingers might be about as exciting as watching someone play Civilization II: Tests in Time. If so, tell her that you want to learn the nuances of her subtle technique in order to become a better lover and please her in bed.
She might feel embarrassed about the appearance of her genitals. Yes, they look perfectly peachy to you, but you need to reassure her –whenever you are down there, without fail– that her cozy nook is beautiful, soooo tasty, and that it smells like honey (if she’s a brunette), strawberries (if she’s a redhead), or birthday cake (if she’s a blonde).
She might feel self-conscious about you staring at her while she makes her sex face. Confront this fear directly. Tell her that it’s a huge turn on to look directly into her eyes while she’s in the height of her orgasm. Confess that you kept your eyes closed during sex with your past girlfriends, but for the first time ever you want to keep your eyes open. Because you two share a soul.
She might feel awkward about being the center of attention while you sit there and do nothing. Ask her what you can do to help. You’ll rarely go wrong with your tongue on her nipples. Does she want you to keep quiet or narrate a dirty soundtrack of encouragement?
Let’s not overlook the possibility that she doesn’t masturbate. Broaden her horizons with Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation by Jayme Waxman, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson, and a 30-day membership to ifeelmyself.com.
On the other end of the spectrum, what if she’s protecting your ego from a secret stash of monster dildos and industrial-strength vibes? Be open to incorporating the toys into your regular routines. Or, she might employ an unconventional method. For most of my teenage years, I did it face down, grinding into a stuffed animal. Now I like nipple clamps. Be prepared for the possibility of a freakshow. If you play your cards right, this will lead you to the holy grail of having wild, kinky sex with your sweet girl-next-door angel.
If all else fails, most girls will let you watch them masturbate if you give them $100.
Reprinted from “Sex Secrets from a Girl Gone Wild” by Rita Seagrave, April 2009.
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